Ep 16: Silver Linings: Learn from the Bad Things & Find the Good || Seattle

I believe that in most any negative situation that happens to you (within reason of course), you have to 
1) be thankful that it wasn’t worse, 

2) maintain a positive attitude that you will overcome it, 

3) be kind and appreciative to anyone who can possibly help you, and most importantly 

4) look for the life lessons that you can obtain from the negative situation…. In other words, learn from the bad and find the good. 

So what did I learn from our little car accident?

1)                  First, I learned that positivity and gratitude can lead to positive results. We believed everything would work out for the best. 

2)                  An important mantra for me is that I choose to believe is that everything will work out to my great benefit ultimately. 

3)                  Believing in good results gives you hope. And hope makes a positive difference in your life. 

4)                  The accident was a gift in a sense because it gave me the opportunity to be the full adult or the fully grown man that I desire to be. 

Not only can you learn from a bad situation. But you should also search for the lessons, gifts, and opportunities that can be reclaimed from the bad situation. – Maxx Mitchell

I learned to muster all the self-improvement knowledge that I’ve gained over the last few years and to use positive beliefs and trust in the Universe to competently steer a crisis into a positive outcome.

Transcript

Hey there Listeners! Welcome to Episode 16 of the Shy to Dynamic podcast! I was delayed a week in turning out this episode and honestly the reason was that I was dealing with covid and that took critical time away from my schedule for planning this episode. So I apologize for that, but I’m back now! I hope you’ve had a fantastic three weeks… and let’s get going with the topic I have for you today. And thank you so much for tuning in!

So let me tell you a story of a little trouble that happened to me and mother last year. It caused a huge inconvenience in our lives at the time…. Well, for that weekend anyway. Last year, my mother and I were invited to Thanksgiving dinner by my cousin, who is my mom’s niece. She is the sister of my cousin that I mentioned last week that recommended that I do an episode about dating. Just for reference, not that anybody cares… But anyway, we had never had Thanksgiving at this particular relative’s home, so it was an opportunity for special family time… or at least we hoped so. And ultimately Thanksgiving at her house was amazing… The food was off the chain… simply delicious! And such a variety of food items. It was a major Thanksgiving spread. In the end, I was majorly impressed and happy that we had gone there! Of course, satisfaction with the food and the quality family time was the end result. But it was preceded by a big ol’ disaster! Not a deadly disaster or anything… but of course it’s conceivable that it could have ended up deadly if things had gone much worse. But fortunately, it didn’t.

So anyway, in order to get to Thanksgiving dinner at my cousin’s house, we – my mother and I – had to travel by car from my mother’s home in Raleigh, NC to my cousin’s house in Hampton, VA – a little over a 3-hour drive. I did the driving because I didn’t want my mother to have to drive much if at all. We were riding along comfortably, having lots of conversation as we usually do. We were about 50 miles from our destination and all of a sudden, a large metal cylindrical object just appeared in the road, at the edge of the lane I was driving in, close to the next lane. As quickly as I saw the object, I had to make a split decision about how to maneuver over or around the object so as not to cause damage to the car – or to me or my mother for that matter. Do I slow down? Do I speed up? Is the object small enough to drive over it? Do I pull into the next lane – but wait, is there a car coming in the next lane?? All of these split-second calculations and thoughts were coursing thru my mind in a matter of milliseconds. 

Whatever it was that I intended to do at the time, I ended up hitting the large metal object near the passenger’s side front tire. We hit it hard. Not enough that we were physically affected, not hard enough that airbags went off or anything, but we definitely felt the blunt impact. 

I noticed immediately that the car was not driving as smoothly as it should, and I began to strongly sense that something was wrong. And as the seconds passed by, the car began to drive more and more unstably. I told my mom that I think that we need to pull over. But she advised that we should wait just a little bit until we could pull off safely at an exit. I thought to myself that I wasn’t sure that the car would make it that long. It became more and more obvious that the car was in serious trouble. I began to wonder if the whole undercarriage of my mom’s car had been torn apart or if it was just the tire. I eventually pulled off the side of the road as the situation appeared more dire. As I began to pull off, we began to see and smell smoke. I truly dreaded the thought of seeing what damage had resulted from the accident… I pulled as far off the side of the road as possible onto the grass.

I got out of the car and hesitantly walked around to the other side of the car and it was revealed to me that the entire tire had come undone and was literally shredded. Threads of the tire were wrapped up and tangled all around the rim of the wheel … The tire had almost disintegrated basically. 

After fervently thanking God that this accident had not resulted in any medical injuries to me and my mother, I called AAA to come rescue us and fix the tire. Of course, we weren’t sure it would be that simple with all the damage that occurred to the wheel area of the car.

The AAA man arrived, and he was super nice and courteous to us. He swapped out the nearly nonexistent tire for the donut tire, and told us the standard advice to, you know, not drive over 40 or so miles on the donut tire. He even valued our safety enough to put the little warning cones in the road to give us enough berth to pull back onto the highway safely. 

So we were fortunate that we could still get back on the road and make our way to my cousin’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. And we definitely had an amazing time with the scrumptious food and fellowship with my cousin, her husband, my other cousin and her daughter, as well as my uncle and aunt.  

After the festivities, my mom and I left and went back to our hotel and I began to plan our stressful next day when we would have to figure out the complicated details of getting my mom’s car fixed. 

I set an appointment for really early on Friday, so we had to get up early around 7am or something. I am not a morning person at all, but I knew we had to get started lest we run out of time. There was no telling what needed to be done to repair the car. 

We arrived at the car dealership service department, and they inspected the vehicle and they told us that we would probably have to get four tires, because they don’t usually sell a single tire and that we’d have to wait until Monday for the right tires! We both felt a sense of dread that the situation was not turning out well so far. But of course, we both were kind and patient, as my mother taught me to be, and we listened to what the car service personnel had to say.  

They also told us that the metal rim of the wheel had been damaged and it was bent on one edge. That would be the first issue that we needed to rectify. They definitely wouldn’t be able to fix the rim, so they recommended a rim retailer shop right down the street. So did this mean we needed to buy 4 new tires plus a rim?? This was definitely not looking good. Our positive hopes were not panning out.

Serendipitously, this rim retailer shop happened to be right next to a breakfast place that my mother had been to before and that she really liked. So we went there and had an amazing breakfast and filled our bellies before we proceeded to tackle the rest of our dreaded day. 

We went to the rim retailer shop and they said they usually sell four rims at a time. We were getting more and more exasperated, but we maintained our cool. He told us that there was a shop not too far away that could possibly repair the damaged rim instead of us having to buy four new ones!

And if the rim repair shop could fix the rim, then they would graciously sell us just one tire instead of four. And they had some good ones on sale.

Now our positive attitude and beliefs that everything would turn out ok were beginning to pay off in the form of positive results.  

So we proceeded to journey over to the rim repair shop. We met an odd father and son team. The father had no personality at all… very quiet and standoffish. My mother tried to engage him in conversation anyway… maybe to soften him up. However, the son was jovial and friendly, and he listened to us explain why we were there. We still maintained positivity and believed that we would get this problem all solved with minimal further discomfort and inconvenience and that they would help us as much as possible. Once the son had assessed the situation, we listened to him explain what he could do, which was this: He said that the rim was easily repairable, and he could have it done for us in about an hour! The cost was only one hundred and something. An amazing deal! We drove around an hour while they repaired the rim. (We were still riding on the donut tire.) We came back in an hour and the job was complete! He told us that the rim was as good as new. We looked at it and it was amazing that the technology was available to take it from where it was to the way it looked now. Very impressive! We were on our way once again!

We went back to the first rim retailer shop and they were glad to hear that everything had gone well at the rim repair shop, and they took it from there. They installed the repaired rim and put on the new tire that we had bought for an excellent price. We thanked them for all they had done to help us, and for advising us in a way that gave us the best value and the best opportunity to get back on the road expeditiously.

So instead of paying for four new tires and a new rim which would have cost well over $1000, plus the cost of extending our stay in Hampton, we ended up paying like $450 total! 

So the point of telling this story is that I believe that in most any negative situation that happens to you (within reason of course), you have to 1) be thankful that it wasn’t worse, 2) maintain a positive attitude that you will overcome it, 3) be kind and appreciative to anyone who can possibly help you, and most importantly 4) look for the life lessons that you can obtain from the negative situation…. In other words, learn from the bad and find the good. 

And I feel that whatever I go thru, there is something I can learn that will either cause me to understand the Universe better or make me a better person, or both.

Jen Sincero in her book, You are a Badass, stated:

If something negative happens in your life, feel it, learn from it, let it go and get back to focusing on the life you’re EXCITED to live. – Jen Sincero in her book “You Are a Badass”

End quote. So what did I learn from our little car accident snafu?

1)                  First, I further learned that positivity and gratitude can lead to positive results. My mom and I both maintained a positive and hopeful attitude the whole time. And we were thankful that the situation hadn’t turned out any worse. And we believed. We believed everything would work out for the best. I mean we had already gotten into an accident and came out of it physically unscathed with damage only to one part of the car. So we were already “blessed and highly favored” as they say. 

An important mantra for me is that I choose to believe is that everything will work out to my great benefit ultimately. Even when it comes to my years of not dating anyone, I believe I will eventually find the right person for me at some point, even if I’m 60 years old. 

Taylor Swift in her song named Karma had literally the perfect line. It was: 

Ask me what I learned from all those years, Ask me what I earned from all those tears – from the song, Karma, by Taylor Swift

End quote. That’s probably my favorite line from that song. It rhymes, it’s catchy, and it’s meaningful. But I digress. 

The point is that I believe in good fortune for me, and I believe the people I encounter can and should be inspired to help me. My mom and I believed that the people we dealt with during this accident situation would want to help us and would treat us fairly, and we were polite and kind to them so that they would be more likely to want to help us. Is this gullible? In a sense, maybe. 

But at the same time, believing in good results gives you hope. And hope makes a positive difference in your life. Believing in positivity also sends good vibes into the Universe and towards the people you encounter. And of course you know I’m referring to normal life situations. I would never say to believe necessarily in the goodness of someone who is holding a knife to your throat. So you have to have common sense in believing in the goodness of people, but as a habit, try to believe initially that people want to be good to you and try to think positively.

2)                  Secondly, I realized that this accident was a gift in a sense because it gave me the opportunity to be the full adult or the fully grown man that I desire to be. I desire to be dynamic as well as effective and strong. I decided that I would be a strong man in this situation and I would think everything fully thru and make wise decisions and negotiate well with the people I was dealing with and be strong for my mother and myself. My mom specifically told me that she allowed me to lead and handle this whole situation. She also said in the end that she was proud of me in terms of how I handled everything. And that I had done a good job. That made me feel really really great… and grateful!

3)                  Third, I was given another gift. Emotionally, I came to a good place about something that had bothered me. I mentioned earlier that I had to make a split decision in the moment of the accident. In the moment, I decided to veer towards the object instead of away from it. I wracked my brain trying to understand why I had made such a foolish decision. Could I have avoided the whole accident if I had veered the other way? Why on earth had I done that? Was it just a panicked reaction for no reason? I brought it up to my mom, and she revealed to me what she had seen with her eyes. She said the car in front of me had driven over the metal object. And that’s why it kind of seemed that the object suddenly appeared all of a sudden! So that made sense. If I had seen the previous driver drive over the object, then in that moment, I surmised that I could do the same thing. 

That calmed my soul so much to know that, and I was truly grateful to my mother for providing me that explanation and that “closure”. I would have always wondered why I made that decision and I would have continued to feel guilty about it. The Universe gave me a gift by having my mom reveal that truth to me. And my uncle further validated my decision by telling me that most anyone in that situation would be hesitant to swerve into the adjacent lane because you’re not sure what or who you might hit. So I could rest easy after my mom and uncle mollified my guilt about my actions. So…

Not only can you learn from a bad situation. But you should also search for the lessons, gifts, and opportunities that can be reclaimed from the bad situation. – Maxx Mitchell

Back to the present day… During the time period that I was writing this episode, I went to a little jazz festival near Charlotte, and coincidentally, I spotted a guy wearing a t-shirt that was perfectly aligned with the principles I am expressing during this episode. What I read on the t-shirt almost flashed at me like a beacon. It said:

“I never lose. Either I win or I learn.” 

And what did I lose after the accident? I lost the money that we had to put toward the car repair. And I lost the peace of mind that I would have had if everything during the trip had gone off without a hitch. 

But what did I win? I sort of won the opportunity to demonstrate that I was a grown full-fledged man who could handle a crisis and that I could look out for and take care of my mom in a crisis. 

And what did I learn? I learned to muster all the self-improvement knowledge that I’ve gained over the last few years and to use positive beliefs and trust in the Universe to competently steer a crisis into a positive outcome.

I knew I could not let this accident get me or my mother down or defeat us. I took this bad situation and learned from it and found the positives in it. I looked for and found the “silver linings”. Mission accomplished.

So this week’s episode is dedicated to the city of Seattle! Now Seattle is a great city. I am not a fan of the amount of rain you have to deal with there, but when I visited it, I was awestruck. Somehow I did not know it was quite as massive and grand as it was. I looked out from high up in the Space Needle and the skyline that I viewed was not much different that the skyline I would see in Chicago. It was simply breathtaking and overwhelming. There are a great many things to see and do. As well as great neighborhoods and green landscapes and the majestic scenery of mountains and huge bodies of water. It was like Phoenix in the sense that the vegetation you see there is different than anywhere else. As you drive on the highways near the city, all you see everywhere is what looks like beautiful Christmas trees… green and cone-shaped. Seattle has nature, scenery, and all the trappings of a major cosmopolitan city.  

 And that wraps up this episode. So if you have enjoyed this episode, and you’ve gotten something useful and meaningful out of this episode, then please subscribe to the podcast, and support my cause and what I’m trying to deliver here. There are links to subscribe to and support the show in the show notes. Also you may give me five stars and write a review. Your ratings and reviews are really important! Furthermore, please pass this podcast along to your friends or family or anyone you know that could benefit from my advice as well! And finally, please contact me directly, if you like, to let me know what you think. There is a text message option in the show notes.

As always, remember to show up for yourself and BELIEVE in yourself today and everyday, and create a NEW important and positive and dynamic version of yourself!

Episode 16, the Seattle episode, is now DONE!